The Club Phenomenon

My work has recently started a new event. We're now doing club nights called "Fox After Hours" on Friday and Saturday nights from 10pm to 2am. This is a new scene for me. So I've noticed certain things that are definitely unique to this crowd. There are certain phenomena that happen "in the club" that you just don't see in everyday life. I will elaborate:

-The old people that have way too many drinks and then start doing what we can only assume is what they think is dancing. It more looks like a crazy person waving at the floor. Or it looks like she belongs to a Harre Krishna sect.

-The drunk couple off at the side who either forgets where they are or forgets that other people can see them doing things that no one wants to or should have to see.

-The hardcore thug that, after a few drinks, thinks all the girly dancing that he does on the dance floor looks awesome...but he is very much wrong in that assumption.

- There's the guy that just doesn't seem to make it all the way to the dance floor. So he stands by himself just off to the side dancing, creating his own dance floor.

-Then there are always the people that don't understand that 2am closing time is not only law, but very much our preference so we can go home. No we don't want the DJ to play just one more song like you do. We want you to leave and leave fast so we can go home. Some of us are 4 hours past our bed time.

-The girl that knows she's good-looking and thinks that if she flirts with the bartender, free drinks are sure to follow. They never flirt after they see their tab...wonder why...

-2 female friends who decide to have a long and serious conversation with each other in a place where I'm sure they can't even hear each other. One usually starts crying. This is a normal thing in life, but why at a club? A coffee shop is completely understandable and this wouldn't be out of place at all, but the seriousness of the situation is somehow dissipated as clubbers bump and grind just inches behind the talking women.

-I didn't know alcohol was a precursor for testosterone release in males...and in some cases females. But sure enough, at the end of the night, when everyone has had enough alcohol in them, the testosterone and the dumbest fights in the history of Arizona are unleashed upon Westgate.

-Also, apparently Bud Lite triggers WWF flashbacks, which prompt people to pick up chairs and throw them at people.

-The people that think they will get served faster if they angrily pound on the bartop and yell at us. Some people think they have to tell us that they are waiting to get drinks. Oooohhh, that's why everyone is yelling at me. I was wondering about that.

-There are always people that talk down to us and assume that since we work in a restaurant, we're obviously uneducated and are there because we can't do anything else. Well lots of bartenders are only doing it while they go to school, and it's usually grad school. So the person you're yelling at for being slow and stupid might possibly have more schooling and higher degrees than you do. Let's take my bar for example: I'm getting my Doctorate in Physical Therapy, one of my bartenders is becoming a nurse, and another is becoming a Physician's Assistant. The three of us are usually the ones working club nights.

-The people that yell at us for how expensive their drink is.
A) Do you think I care how much you have to pay for your drink?
B) Do you think I'm the one who sets the prices?
C) You should know alcohol is expensive. Either stop complaining or stop drinking.

-The people that have way too much pride in either being from the "East Side" or the "west Side". Come here, I wanna tell you a secret...No one cares. Stop shouting "West Side" and put your hand down. Remember Tupac used to throw up hand signals and look where it got him. Learn from history.